NAKED VENGEANCE (1985)

NAKEDVENGEANCE (1985)

Director: Cirio Santiago

Starring: Deborah Tranelli, Kaz Garas

Amazon Prime-Great transfer

naked vengeance_2

Fletch the Butcher: What’s the matter with you?

Ray the Bartender: I don’t know, I guess I just don’t feel like working out today!!!

Carla: Drown bastard.

This is a 80’s revenge movie that borrows much from I Spit On Your Grave.  It starts with a “beautiful” LA actress named Carla who is out celebrating with her successful husband and he ends up getting shot and killed trying to stop a rape in progress.  After his death our leading lady decides to go back home to visit her parents and grieve over the loss of her husband.  Carla can’t escape the brutality of man, she gets sexually harassed everywhere she turns up in the redneck town of Spring Lake.  The gas station attendant, a truck driver, the lawn boy, Fletch the Butcher, the town bartender, a guy she went to high school with… pretty much every scumbag in town won’t leave her alone.   Eventually all these redneck fucks end up drunk at a bar, and decide to pay her a visit.  What ensues is a brutal gang rape, and the murder of her parents.  Scenes like this are always very uncomfortable to watch.

naked vengeance_1

At any rate the drunks leave her for dead, and she ends up catatonic in a hospital where she tricks the doctors, and sneaks out to exact her revenge.  The revenge killings are really the only fun part to this film.  The acting can be pretty lousy, the music tends to rip off the likes of Halloween (and every other horror flick) at times.   The director Santiago made a shit ton of action B films through out his career.   This seems to be the best of what he did.  (NW)

________________________________________________________________________

Nate Wilson: NW  Devon Cahill: DC  Matt Average: MA

PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE (1974) / THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (1989)

Phantom marquee
Phantom of the Paradise (1974), and The Phantom of the Opera (1989) at the Aero Theatre in Santa Monica.               Photo: Matt Average

 

PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE (1974)

Director: Brian De Palma

Starring: Jessica Harper, William Finley, Paul Williams, Garrit Graham

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (1989)

Director: Dwight H. Little 

Starring: Robert Englund, Jill Schoelen, Molly Shannon, Bill Nighy

THE FIGGS • Ginger LP

THE FIGGS • Ginger LP

Two interviews and one LP review! It’s a fan pack of Figg-ary-ness!

I need to let you in on a couple things before we get into the meat of this review:

1. I grab all of what The Figgs release on vinyl, all of it and without question or listening to any tracks first.

2. The interviews are from memory and are more like me saying stuff to members of the band and their reaction.

3. I’m pretty certain that every encounter I’ve had with this band I’ve embarrassed myself.

Interview 1:

In 2012, a pal and I traveled from Michigan to Albany, NY to see the first of two shows that commemorate the The Figgs’ 25 years of being a band, I think. The show at Valentines is over, has been for over an hour. My pal and I are tipsy. Pete Hayes was the last man out and had a car the size of a potato and fully loaded with all of his drums, including the passenger seat.

Me: Pete that was great, really, really great. We came all the way from Michigan for it.

Hayes: Oh, cool. Thanks for making the trip.

Me: No prob. Can you give us a ride to our hotel? It’s a two-mile walk.

Hayes: I would but I truly have no room.

Me: I bet I could squeeze inside your bass drum

(Silent stares)

Hayes: I’mmm gonna to get going.

Me: Cool cool cool cool. See you guys tomorrow. 

The Review:

The Ginger LP is the Figgs first long player. This was originally a cassette only release from 1992. However, thanks to Matto and Peterwalkee Records, it is finally seeing vinyl. I think it is a bold move to start off any LP with an instrumental, especially from a band that, at the time, no one had really heard of. But dang duder, in 1992 these The Figgs guys were onto something. When track 2 kicks in, “Kristy’s Boots” I’m transported back to how I felt the first time I heard The Jam. I have to wonder though, is Kristy a real person and was she really that hard to get along with? And the lyric “and you blow your mind” repeated several times, I wonder if it’s a drug reference or about a woman who’s had too much of the everyday and junk and opted out.  The following “Sleaze” is another nonstop sing along banger. The 4th, “Floored” is where it goes from great Power pop- rock record to “Jesus, what the fuck! I didn’t see that coming.” They toss in an (mostly) acoustic number that is packed full of sorrow and sweetness. And to kill side A ,“Milk Dud” comes in swinging. And it’s just shy of a hardcore tune with a mosh-break-down and everything.

Side B punches in with “Happy” (also released as a 7″ single in ‘92) followed by “Wasted Pretty”, which later appeared on the 1994 LP Low-Fi at Society High. Songs 4 and 5 on this are terrific but, for me, it is the third song on Side B, “Can’t be Cloned” that grabs me and throws me around the room. “Can’t Be Cloned” has all the right rock tricks: lyrical self-pity,  a back up vocal in the verse sang in a different melody, a little choppy break between verses, a self-aware and self loathing/retired to fate memorable sing along chorus,  and a bridge that doesn’t go too far off the pace or feeling of the song. To me, this entire pile is worth it for this song.

In the end, these are great songs with the right amount of imperfection to make this perfect. It’s ambitious and humble. The songs still resonate with early 20s angst and confusions while having a tone of wisdom, sarcasm, and tunefulness that still captivates me. To take a quote out of context form my pal Charles (Gern Blandsten Records, Follow Jean Through the Sea), “There is no bad Figgs record. They range from “That’s the best thing I ever heard” to “Jesus Christ, that’s good.”  This record is solidly in between those statements.”

Interview 2:

November 1997, I only have $20. Paul Bearer from Sheer Terror is working the door at Brownies, NYC.

Me: Hey man, I have a question for you.

Paul Bearer from Sheer Terror: Yeah?

Me: All I have is this $20 for tonight and I wanted to get a couple beers but beers are too expensive for me here. Do you have any ideas on where I could go around here before the Figgs start?

Paul Bearer from Sheer Terror: (hands me back my change, now down to $15) Ya see that yuppie bar with all the lawyers across the street?

Me: (I look and know exactly where he’s talking about) Yes. Can I afford drinks there?

Paul Bearer from Sheer Terror: Ha. No. But if you tell the bartender I sent you and give him some cash, you’ll be ok.

Me: Cool. Thanks.

Paul Bearer from Sheer Terror: (as I’m walking back out the door) I hope you don’t have any allergies.

I walk into the bar and it is totally young NYC beautiful business types in suits and skirts. I clearly don’t fit in. I sit in a dark corner of the bar.

The bartender: Paul Bearer (from Sheer Terror) send you over?

Me: Yes. Here’s all the money that I have.

Bartender: Cool. Sit tight. Do you have any allergies?

Me: No. Well, pollen.

The Bartender begins to grab half drunk drinks and nearly full drunk drinks and pours them into a glass. He walks over to a freshly made martini, pulls it off the bar and asks the young buck in the suit if he’d like another one. The young buck ordered another one. My drinks were the leftover waste of a room full of fancy NYC up-and-comers. Some of the drinks had rosemary sprigs, or orange twists, or muddled mint. One had a couple of those things and an olive with a bite out of it. To me it was like a magical fish bowl, both the drinks and the room of people. It was frigid outside but I was warming up nicely. And just as the thought of how beautiful and wonderful New York is, I remembered The Figgs were about to start.

Paul Bearer from Sheer Terror: There he is. I was about to send someone to go look for ya. They’re about ta start.

The Figgs played super long that night, just killed it with all the hits. After everything was over I was compelled to go talk to them.  Mike and Pete D were the closest to me.

Me: You guys are really great.

Pete D, Mike: Thanks.

Me: Ever thought about covering “In the City” by The Jam front to back?

Pete D: Ummm, no.

Mike: Ahhh yeah, no.

And then I think I went to Burritoville and got a Fogged Out in Oregon to chomp on the L back to Brooklyn.

I belong to top-secret-cyber-basement-room on a popular media platform for the The Figgs fans. Several years ago I found an old tape someone gave me of old the The Figgs songs and I posed the question to the group – (do you think) If I pitched in for them to do a 7″ of  four short fast-ish power pop songs that they would do it? … I was hit back with talk of it being unfair to ask a band to compromise their art and that I should stop living in the past. I get it, however they did write the lyric “an antisocial lesbian said you were dumb.”  Listening to Ginger and reliving these interviews, I can’t imagine that me asking them could turn out any worse than my previous encounters and could either be a redemption or follow my pattern, win-win.  (JD)

___________________________________________________________________

Justin Dratson: JD   Nate Wilson: NW   Matt Average: MA

THE WORLD • Reddish mini LP

THE WORLD Reddish 12” mini LP

Lumpy Records

The World Reddish LP

Excellent follow up to their debut LP, First World Record, which rocked me on my heels with their post punk style akin to Family Fodder. The World are a bit of a “super group”, consisting of members from Andy Human and The Reptoids, Beatniks, and Blues Lawyer. They have combined their creative super powers to make one of the best bands going these days. I predict that in twenty years a younger generation will be looking to The World discography for sound inspiration. I also predict that if you skip on getting this today you will live in crippling regret until you right the wrong. Just imagine being out somewhere, say a party with friends, and you hear a song that comes over the stereo, or hi-fi, as the millennials like to say, a song so good that all conversations stop until the song ends, like “Jackson 5” for instance, with it’s shuffling beat and vocals that are otherworldly. You cannot deny the saxophone that takes it next level. You know you’re hearing one of the best songs you’ve heard in a long while. One of your friends in the know (the only kind of friends one should have, really) informs you that its The World, and song is on the second side of their Reddish mini LP, or 12” EP in record collector parlance. Regret hits you like a brick as your mind hurtles back to 2019, and you recall having had the chance to attain this much wanted record for a fair and decent price, but in your youthful foolishness you passed on it and opted to get the latest generic Exploited clone band, the kind of band, that in five years tops, you will forget having ever existed in the first place. “Last Rhodesian” chops it up with a primitive beat that never grows old. The delivery is frantic until it calms towards the end before one last fit. There’s also the to the point “You’re Going Down,” which burrows into your brain, deeper and deeper, until it becomes part of your genetic make up. “Kill Your Landlord” comes on smooth with it’s dub stylings, and the vocals channel Ari Up at times, and just like that, it’s all over.

Be sure to get this record. (MA)

___________________________________________________________________

Justin Dratson: JD   Nate Wilson: NW   Matt Average: MA

THE CAPTAIN (2018)

THE CAPTAIN (Der Hauptmann) 2018

Written & Directed By Robert Schwentke

Starring: Max Hubacher

Showtime On Demand

Great Transfer

thecaptain

This film was surprisingly awesome.  Its a recent movie shot in stark black and white and all in German. The story takes place two weeks before the end of World War ll in 1945 Germany.

The main character is a German private who has deserted from his troop.  He’s on the run and unsuccessfully tries to loot because he is starving and cold.  While on the run he comes across an abandoned army vehicle with a suitcase of belongings and a Nazi captain’s uniform.  The captain is nowhere to be found.  The private cleans up, and puts on the uniform.  Minutes later another low ranking German soldier appears (its obvious he is a deserter as well).  The new “Captain” takes on the grunt as his driver and later on runs into other German soldiers who are also obvious deserters.  He tricks them all into following him into a “secret mission” for Hitler as their troop commander.  This new “Captain” starts to emulate those he feared and ran from.  He seems to have gone completely crazy.  

Through many bizarre twists & turns the “Captain” and his fellow crew of deserters end up at a prison camp for looters, criminals and other German deserters.  What follows is brutal and unthinkable.

This is beautifully filmed. The camera work is great, the acting is superb, and the story/plot are that of something I never could have imagined happening.  Supposedly this is based on a true story.  War is hell, and his film proves it.  (NW)

________________________________________________________________________

Nate Wilson: NW  Devon Cahill: DC  Matt Average: MA

ROBO VAMPIRE (1988)

ROBO VAMPIRE

1988, Hong Kong
Starring: Ernst Mausser as Bill Young and a bunch of other people
Directors: Godfrey Ho & (probably) Tomas Tang
Viewed: Streaming
Transfer: Decent
Robo Vampire
Boss Young: Listen, I must find a way to handle Tom, that goddamn anti-drug agent.
Lackey: Boss, what are your plans then?
Boss Young: I’ve employed a Daoist. He’ll train vampires to deal with him.
Apparently Robo Vampire is actually two movies sewn together, so that means it’s gotta be twice as good, right? Yes, most definitely!

It certainly has everything…kung fu, drug smuggling mercenaries, Hong Kong slapstick, hopping vampires, dummy stunt men, sexy ghosts, a silver lamé version of Robocop, and even some nooky from beyond the grave. Every moment in this film is either awesome or just about to get awesome, nicely counteracting the need for a cohesive plot. Don’t worry if you doze off for a bit or forget to pause it when you head for the kitchen to get a snack…just hop right back in. I only wish Nate and Matt were here to experience it with me as this should definitely be watched with friends for maximum entertainment value.

So a quick sketch of the story here…drug kingpin Boss Young—or is it Cole? I’m still confused—has a hard on for DEA agent Tom Wilde and plans to thwart him by enlisting a Daoist monk who can summon an army of vampires that are, of course, (super-) naturally impervious to machine gun fire. The smuggling method that Tom disrupted to initiate this revenge is never made clear, but it seems like the new plan is to transport the drugs in corpses…but then there’s also a gratuitous scene of a ox-like animal being opened up and having drugs sewn up inside its body. None of this is ever explained, but it’s not really important. Anyway, going on a tip from agent in the field, Sophie, Tom & Co. confront Young’s crew all guns blazing and manage to out maneuver the smugglers despite some early casualties. As the momentum shifts toward the “good guys,” however, the monk springs into action calling up his undead henchman to make short work of the agents, Tom included. For some reason, even though all the agents are killed, only Tom is deemed worthy of being reanimated as a cyborg super-cop.

Cyborg super-cop certainly sounds familiar, but by the end of this you’ll be asking yourself “Robocop who?” Much like wrestling’s Honkytonk Man, the Mylar Murphy rip-off in this will leave you more than half-convinced that the copy is WAY better than the original. I also like the parallel of the two different imaginings of the undead: the traditional Chinese vampires born again via the supernatural, and Tom resuscitated via science: both stripped of their self-determination and slaves to the bidding of others. Get it? Robo-Vampire…I mean this shit’s deep.

It’s hard to pin down a favorite scene in this…there’s Sophie’s Chinese water torture absurdity, Cyborg Tom’s existential crisis/romantic flashback as he witnesses vampire and ghost consummate their marriage, any one of the incredible vampire vs. cyborg battle scenes…just so many ludicrous and memorable moments. Cyborg Tom’s assembly montage that segues into his test run is one of my favorites, though. I love how they just take some random dumpster dived e-waste objects with knobs and stuff and jam them unconvincingly into what looks like a hollow metal leg. However, cut to some beeping and flashing equipment, a 4th of July sparkler posing as a welding tool, and some shots of all involved nodding knowingly, and somehow it totally works. Plus we get to see him put together all over again after he’s blown to bits at the end of his first battle.

I would love to see a wide screen version, as this was modified for TV at some point, but don’t touch those overdubs! Also, if someone has a theory on how the opening scene fits into the chronology of the film, I’m all ears. (DC)

____________________________________________________________________________________

NW: Nate Wilson  DC: Devon Cahill  HR: Heath Row  MA: Matt Average

DARKTHRONE • Old Star LP

Darkthrone – Old Star LP

Peaceville Records 2019

Darkthrone_review_1

I just picked this up on vinyl today after listening to a streaming version that a buddy sent me recently.

What’s incredible to me is that these guys are still at it and have 18 LPs to their credit now. In my opinion this record took a lot of courage to make. Dudes straight up have let their 80’s hair metal roots shine through on much of this beast. In the riffage I can hear the likes of Motorhead (the first song), Wasp, Crüe, AC/DC, Kiss, Armored Saint, Ratt, etc.. I think a lot of black metal fans might not get it, and the only saving grace to them might be the vox (which have a very strong Celtic Frost vibe cutting through). Don’t get me wrong, this is still heavy… just has some other influences I haven’t heard by them in prior releases.

What I love about Darkthrone is that they could give two fucks if they lose or alienate die hard BM fans (or any fans for that matter). They seem to only care about what they like or would want to listen to at a particular moment in time. I think thats pretty awesome. You can tell that both these gentlemen are super open minded when it comes to music and life.

Darkthrone_review_2

I love the first four albums, and for that time period they were radical innovators of that second wave of BM. As odd as it might sound to some I would rank this album right up there after the first five (coming in sixth). Its so catchy, and daring that I haven’t been able to stop listening to it or get the tunes/riffs out of my head.

As I stated earlier I think that it took a lot of courage to play/write riffs like these when they know that their fans can be a pretty closed minded group of individuals. It seems people who follow the genre will usually just want more of the same, and you don’t get that here. You don’t get the rawness, crudeness, or hate that the first four have going for them. You don’t have the crust punk element that seems to have influenced them over the last ten years. This is big sounding (those fucking drums). The production is unbelievably good and I think Fenriz and Ted are able to prove that they are still innovators with this full length. I love everything about it. (NW)